::the Daily Fix::

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A "Different" Thanksgiving...

My Ghetto Thanksgiving Dinner LOL!



I hope ya'll had a great thanksgiving weekend. What can i say about this past thanksgiving? I think this year was just a little bit "different".

All my family is up North and I am back here in LA. We all agreed that everyone would spend time with their in-laws for Thanksgiving and everyone would meet back for Christmas.

Okay, there is only one problem... I AM the only one in my family not married. It seems to be kind of like that when I am around my family. Everyone is typically coupled up (married) and I am somehow become the "odd" ball. It's kind of pathetic in a way. Everyone in my family feels obligated says things like... "hurry up and find a wife" or "don't worry you will find someone" - like it is some sort empathetic way of saying... "DAMN LOSER" - okay maybe that's just how I interpret it.
I think that's why I sometimes avoid some family functions because everyone else has their "eternal" partner. Don't get me wrong, I am not hating on the fact that my brothers and sisters have found someone they can call their own but, I honestly think that they are some people in this world that just may not get to live that luxury. Is it just me or does everyone around me somehow strive to live that "happy ending?". I honestly do not know? Maybe I am just talking out of my ass because i haven't found that someone yet or i feel obligated to have someone just to say that i have someone... WHO KNOWS?

Well, going back to my thanksgiving weekend. Being that I didn't have any in laws to go to I was invited to some of my cousins home and friends homes to visit for Thanksgiving dinner. I took it as an opportunity to not cook this year. WOOHOO!
I ended going to my brother's house in Long Beach to spend with his in laws.
I thought to myself... great, now i have to someone else's family and i really don't know them. I decided to be a good sport and help my brother cook all day for his in-laws then, i would join them for dinner.
My brother's in-laws do not have the best social skills but, i figured at least on this day they would acknowldge a celebrity (me) when they see one.
I felt really awkward because I am so used to my family being very outgoing and having a great time on Thanksgiving. I made the best out of awkward situation by trying to talk to the family and they just seemed really "BARBARIC" like they only wanted to talk to the plate and the fork? I figured I would understand since, I understand the universal language of FAT HOGS...
I even tried to join them for dinner and they were just very "silent" - I am not sure if it is because i smelled like a model? LOL or even washed and cleansed my ass? Who the hell knows? At this point, I just stopped trying to conversate and decided okay let me go make a plate. I make my plate and I end up going to the backhouse where my brother lives and enjoyed dinner by myself.
How pathetic is that? At the same time, i felt some sort of serenity in just being thankful for what I have in life right now.
Good thing my beautiful niece who manages to always think of me no matter what she does. (She's only four) comes to backhouse with little plate gives me a kiss and says "HAPPY THANKSGIVING WAFEE"!. "Wafee" is her way of saying Ralphy.
As, i sit and eat my plate she pulls up a chair next to me and starts to eat.
I sit there thinking to myself--- "What more can you ask for?". Which made my Thanksgiving all worth while. I have my family, my health, great friends, and a great job. I decided then, to put some music on and all the kids come from outside and my niece being that she thinks she is "Ciara" we all start dancing in the living room and end up having a good time. I decided not to go any of my other cousins house because i figured i was full and my destiny was fulfilled for the day.

This year's THANKSGIVING was one to remember. It kind of made me wish i at my family's house laughing at the fact that i still dont have my significant other...
LMAO...
Bitches! I miss them!
I did get my grub on though!

PS. On a brighter side of things... the homie Pete's daughter Aubrey was born!
Congrats!

Posted by ::RL:: :: 2:41 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

It's the JUMP OFF! - UPDATE!

Okay seriously! Can i say how much of a luxury to have internet at home is?

I am now living in Carson, California across from Cal State Dominguez Hills.
I have moved out the house i was living in Lawndale, CA. I now live with 2 total strangers. I moved into a 3bedroom townhouse 2.5 bathroom.
Let me say my first room mate who is the owner of the house. I will call him "Kenji".
I found his add on craigslist for a room mate which read something like...
All amenities, cable, internet, all utilities included, which has access to a fitness room, pool, jacuzzi...
I said "HAYYYY" Thats Whassup! I get to the place and its like the gates of Heaven where they all kinds of security before you enter... and the whole community is just clean. I swear i was an WYSTERIA LANE... no shit. It was just so CLEAN and QUIET!
I figured what the hell i met this guy and seems like i have known him for a long time. I beleive he works for an accounting firm or something?
Hell, i just found out his last name today. The guy is really cool and is about early thirties. With all the information i gathered from this guy all of my assumptions start accumulating. Let me give you the run down to see if you may come to same conclusion that i came up with...

-Early Thirties
-Works for Accounting
-Has a little dog named "Nunu"
-Works Out and Plays Tennis
-Wears tight jeans (dont ask)
-Hardly ever brings his girlfriend home

= GAY! Right?



Okay, just based on observation wouldn't you think the same thing that this guy is "GAY"? well, i couldn't be anymore wrong about this guy. This guy has a go lucky outlook on life, trusts total strangers, and is never upset about ANYTHING!
I figured those type of people dont really exist? But, i was wrong. This guy is the bomb! I didnt have my whole deposit when i moved in and i asked him if i could break that up in 2 payments. He tells me "NO PROBLEM"... i say to myself- "WORD"?
So, immediately i am like this is too good to be true. I start checking the vents in my room looking for hidden cameras. I start looking all over the house for signs of possible "RAPIST"... (not that i am against it since, i am a willing participant) but, i just jumped into this situation only thinking of me and ONLY ME! I couldnt find anything wrong with this guy. I even googled him and everything and couldnt find anything wrong and just came to conclusion that this guy is legitimate.

On the other hand, i have another room mate that Kenji had move in approximately 2 weeks before i did. We will call her "SOLANGE". Here is the run down on her...


-Late Twenties
-Originally from Chicago
-Free-Lance graphics designer
-Has a little Pomeranian dog named "COME HERE" (thats original)
-Has Blonde Dreadlocks

= CRAZY BITCH! Ya Think?

Okay maybe i can just let go of my prejudices? I find out Solange is really cool and we have the same likes in music and computer programs.
So, i guess you can consider this the "REAL WORLD CARSON EDITION"...
I love it here. I will keep you guys updated on this situation. So far, im loving it.

On a brighter side of things... i am closer to work now, i get to work out when i want, and i come and go as i please!!!

Posted by ::RL:: :: 11:17 PM :: 5 Comments:

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Monday, November 13, 2006

Hiatus! but, im back!

Sorry guys, i have been on hiatus... i will give you more details today...
just wanted to let you know i will be back... internet at my new place is being hooked up today! WOO HOO!
I missed yallz asses! Im gonna blog like crazy when i get back!!!!

Posted by ::RL:: :: 8:10 AM :: 2 Comments:

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Monday, October 09, 2006

LUSH-IOUS Jackson Saved by the COPS!


Sorry guys, i haven't been able to update lately but, im back! Woo hoo!


Last week Friday night, I decided to go to a party with a handful of my girls to Newport Beach on a Riverboat at Ami Beacup Lounge for a birthday party.
We met up at one of my friend's house to have a couple of drinks before we head out.
If anyone knows me, I turn into a mermaid when I drink... in other words a LUSH!
This weekend I was LUSH-IOUS Jackson in the worst way. The party on the boat lasted until midnight then, after we would be going to another neighborhood bar in Long Beach.
To get an idea of how "toasted" I really was:
Let's get a quick review of my drink menu before midnight and before I jump on the dance floor...
- 4 Shots of Petron
- 2 Mai Tai's
- 4 Wine Glasses of Chardonnay
- 3 Rum and Diet Coke's (No Ice)
- 2 Grey Goose shots


[ Sidenote: If you are trying to get toasted really fast order your drinks with no ice and you are bound to get your monies worth]

It's about 11:45pm the girls are ready to go and I am on the dance floor just poppin and droppin to Fergie's London Bridge
"**singing*** The Grey Goose Got Yo Boy Feelin Loose!".
I am just dancing the night away with a no worries attitude but, the whole time thinking about the sobriety check point that I saw on the way up from the freeway.

We rushed out of Newport Beach to go to Long Beach to a bar called "Rustlers"... Not the bizness! The bar is jam packed with gangsters, bikers, trailer trash, you know name it... (my kinda bar LOL). It was a typical drink til' you stink type of night.

We tried desperately to leave the parking lot after the parking lot closed as the cops tried to break it up.

Everyone that still wants to party meets up down the street at a local 7-Eleven. The cops come again to tell us to go home.
I want to be the first one to leave i take off with some friends and just when i thought the coast was clear there goes the blue and red flashing lights. I am saying to myself (rolling my eyes again) SHIT... WHAT NOW?... (Here we go)


The police officer comes next to the car and as I am rolling down my window he says..."Are you Ralph?"... i reply with my sly remark chewing a piece of bubble yum, "Yes I am".
The cop says "Do you know you have 80,000 dollars in warrants?" ... I roll my eyes and start snapping my neck like I have taco syndrome and said with the most embarassing high pitch voice "NO I DON'T!" , like had been an invitation for them to kick my ass.
The cop then looks at my license and says "You know you have an expired license right?" and I reply trying to be slick again "Uhm, yes sir I have my appointment at the DMV next week"...as if the cop really cared with all the empty alcohol containers my car.
As, the cop takes my license I spark up a cigarette and mumble to my friend in the backseat "I just took care of my tickets, I ain't got no warrants" and i look again and the bitch is passed out. I thinking in my head, just great I am going to get pulled over, impounded, taken in to jail for a DUI, but, I have drunk bitches in the backseat whom I will not carry out but, leave them if the car gets towed and
The cop comes back to car and gives my ID back and says... "Okay look, take care of your warrants"... in shock sounding like a slave from the 1950's i say "I will sir" . The other police officer says, "you are not in a condition to drive" and i shrug my shoulders to him with a look like okay, WTF do you want me to do? So, the cop says... "I am going this way..." (pointing the opposite direction of where i was going) and "you go the opposite way and I don't want to see you in this area again tonight and wait for someone to come and drive your car". Still in my slave mode i say.. "Yes, boss" (Like Michael Duncan in the Green Mile or Miss Sophia in the Color Purple) LOL

The cops leave with no problem and as soon as they go the opposite way i start the car and take off!

Still drunk i end up at local restaurant to sit and reflect on how lucky I was.
God was on my side that night. It must have been that I went to church the past 2 Sundays and I haven't gone in so long?

Truly I was blessed and vowed not to do that again. I do not condone drunk driving at all. I do not think its funny because I know the consequences.

The lesson I learned was to not do that EVER again and that I will not be doing that anytime soon and that I need to slow my role.

Special Shout Outs to the Long Beach Police Department, they are just the best ever!

I was LUSH-IOUS Jackson that night on a mission and i was spared a whole lot of headache!

WHEW!

(opens a bottle of Chardonnay... damn! NEVER LEARN! LMAO!)

Posted by ::RL:: :: 8:00 AM :: 6 Comments:

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Who's the BITCH???



Okay, let me school you real quick on what i do at work.
I work for a major super automatic espresso machine manufacturing company.
I handle all of the logistics for the company which, basically means I coordinate any new orders for machines to be shipped all over the country.
We handle a lot of major accounts (Example: Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Etc..)
We are constantly attaining new accounts and once we do land the deal then, thats when i go to work and handle all of logistics for the accounts. Whatever, I do may effect the possible sale of more business so, efficiency, accuracy, courtesy, and customer service play a key factor in what i do.

[On a sidenote: I dont put up with a lot of bullshit so, if you talk to me you better come correct about your issues or there will be consequences...]

A couple of months ago we landed a semi-large account. I am talking about half of million has already been spent and that's only a portion of what is to come with this acccount. It could potentially be a couple million going into next year. This account has multiple locations where these machines will go. 80 sites so far. Which means i will have to coordinate all of this on my own-- and i already handle ALL OTHER ACCOUNTS but, when new accounts come in it takes priority.

Well, I saw the opportunity to expand my skillset and apply it to a new and improved procedure that will put me solely in charge of this account.
For the past 3 months, I have been handling this account daily making sure all my T's are crossed and my I's have been dotted. I mean, there is not one thing that has slipped thru as far as the account. The past couple of months were flawless in logistics and coordination.

So, last week the project manager gave me a call. We will name her "Betch".
Apparently, I have missed one account's machine. Given that all other 79 have been handled correctly.
Betch calls me regarding an account that has not received their machine.
Its late in the day and 5 minutes before i get off work. I am tired, annoyed, and hungry.
Here is how the conversation went down:

Betch: Hi, Ralph. How are you doing?
Me: I am doing great, how are you?
Betch: (yelling) Why the hell does this location not have a machine.
Me: (caught off guard- thinking is this bitch BI-POLAR) Uhhh...I am not sure but, i can find out and... (she cuts me off before i had chance to respond)
Betch: (yelling) Nevermind, the doubletalk. You are talking in circles!
Me: (all confused pulling up spreadsheets to find out whats going on) Well, if you give me the chance to speak then, i can find out for you.
Betch: (still yelling!) I understand why you didn't ship this machine!
Me: (tired of the yelling getting ready to check the hoe) Look, I can help you if stop yelling.
Betch: (yelling) Well, you need hurry up and get me an answer!

[Sidenote: I created all of the spreadsheets that tracks each activity of her locations-- something the dumb tramp didnt come up with. It was my initiative]

Me: (taking a long annoyed sigh to tell Betch to calm down and let me respond--- then at this point the INNER BITCH in me starts to get fired up) Look first of all, you're not going to yell. [like she didnt she just spend half of mill] Second, if i am double talking then, why is it that I havent had a chance to respond? So, what I am going to do is find out what really happened then, remedy the situation.

Betch: Well, point is you made a mistake and now i have to pay for it
Me: (starting to yell) Did i bill you for the service?
Betch: Uhhh...
Me: (I cut her off) Exactly! Now you can calm your nerves and wait for my solution.
[This point all the customer service, phone etiquette, and courtesy is going down the drain really fast]
Betch:: I need answers and I need it fast.
Me: (quickly shooting off at the mouth) You're gonna get them.
{All the while i am logging into myspace and rolling my eyes acting like im listening... dismissing her requests)
Betch: Well, when i am going to get them?
Me: (carelessly) The faster i get off the phone with you. The faster you may get your result.
Betch: (yelling again) You need to find out and let me know ASAP.
Me: (sarcastically) I SUUUUUUUURE WILL! (still rolling my eyes)

Just as we are ending the conversation, I am trying to keep an inch of professionalism and i start to hang up my phone (with my headset on)and apparently, i didnt hang up the phone and I happened to blur out the magic word that could possibly get me to the unemployment lines... (not realizing that she is still on the phone)

BIIIIIIIIIIITCH!

I quickly hang up the phone. Praying that she didnt hear me but, at the same time all hot and bothered that she questioned my work ethic which is definitie NO NO in my book. The devil will be quick to put on the prada!

Five minutes later, the sales rep from my company calls me and tells me Betch didnt appreciate being called a "Bitch". My smart ass tells him well, if she didnt act like one then, i wouldn't have uttered the magic words like, i am a magician and pulling my tricks out of bag and scream the magic words... ABRA-CA-BITCH-DABRA!


*POOF!* BEGONE EVIL BITCH OF THE WEST! I BIND YOU!!!!!!

So, continuing on my bitch spree. The sales rep is trying tell me off. I stop him in his tracks and tell him look. I apologize that she is a bitch. Lets pick up where we left off tomorrow morning.

I am really trying to get his ass off the phone before he feels the wrath of Pele.
So, we end on that note. I take a drive home listening to Beyonce's Ring the Alarm and im laughing to myself like... WTF just happened? Well, whatever.

So, later that night i shit bricks because the reality of the situation hits me because i may not have a job when i get to work. Come to find out everything was okay because my sales rep didnt report it to the owner.

So, my bases were safe. I am doing my 21 gun salute outside of my cubicle laughing and playing with my ipod at my desk.

The end result... I dont get to speak with her directly and we both go thru the sales rep to interac. I still have my creditability with the company and i get still work on this account.

***a sigh of relief*** I continue to cut up on the phone and continue my bitchy ways...

ROFLMAO....
I guess coming from ONe SUPER BITCH to another... THANKS BETCH - you saved my ass!

Posted by ::RL:: :: 12:25 PM :: 8 Comments:

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Season Premiere Reviews!

Greys Anatomy Season 3 Premiere

This is the most anticipated show that for me thus, far. If you have seen Season 2 it was enough to get hooked onto the characters. I didn't get to see much of Season 1 but, i jumped right in on Season 2 and i fell in love with it.
For those, who are Grey's fans then, you know how Season 2 ended. Meredith, Dr McDreamy, and Meredith's friend Finn and the ultimate altimatum for her to choose.
Izzy's patient/soon to be husband Denny died. George hooked up with the Xena looking latina girl Calle. Christina is still a stubborn bitch that shows no emotion and I have to say that I love Sandra Oh's Character. For some strange reason, I beleive that her character has the most human attributes that I can identify with or maybe because she is a bitch. LOVE YA BiTCH!
Well, going right into the season premiere I was highly dissappointed. Meredith didn't pick anyone yet which, means the love plot with her and McDreamy may drag out to a couple more episodes. My advice to Meredith fuck em both shit, thats more interesting in the plot then, the constant cat and mouse chase.
Izzy is laid on the floor the whole damn episode in the same damn dress looking really brokeand stinky. I can see if she actually got married to Denny but, I guess it was enough for her to be that emotional. My opinion on Izzy is quit the program go into something else because you surgeon skills are not up to par. Izzy is just way to emotional to be a doctor. Thanks Izzy but, your storyline sucks right now. My suggestion on this character is to develop more on the daughter that she gave up for adoption which, I think they will eventually develop.
George and Calle's story is developing. Calle tells George she loves him and he doesnt say shit. I love George just as much as anyone else but, his pussy antics and noodle backbone is really starting to piss me off.
Christina and Burke not too much development in the premiere.
Bailey was very emotional with a patient that could have potentially caused a plague.
I didnt like it either. Hopefully, she becomes of the new chief of the hospital.
Now, Addison... thats my bitch! I love this character because she is really trying to make it work with her husband after her mistakes with McDreamy's best friend (Eric Dane) (Mental Note to self: Stalk Him). Addison found Meredith's panties in McDreamy's pants. How freaky is that? McDreamy walks around using Meredith's panties as a hankerchief. Thats Whassup! I love Addison because she ends up posting it on their reader board. She gets plus points with me for that one.
Overall th show was boring... I had my Greys Anatomy team with me watching the premiere.
I guess the only thing that was good that came out of it was that my girls will be coming to meet a bitch on Thursdays for this show so, we can criticize the characters and writers... LOL
I hope the season develops more... OR i may just may start my own DIARY OF MAD BLACK BITCH BLOG LOL!




Brothers & Sisters Series Premiere!


Check this show out! Its off the hook. I will blog about this later... as i get to know more about the characters. CHECK IT OUT. You will not be dissappointed!
The best show to take Greys time slot.

Posted by ::RL:: :: 9:52 PM :: 4 Comments:

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Sunday, September 24, 2006

the INTRO::

Well well well.. so this is what it is to blog. Okay, so i am late with blogging. I just never had the need to try to. Thanks to my good friend Wena from my Sexy Back Crew. I find this blogging thing interactive as much as i am ATTRACTIVE! LOL... (that was a joke bitches). I can say i did all of my template updating and adding during my supposed "overtime" hours at work... Wow!


The other day i spent some time reading some blogs and i found that there are a lot of wack jobs out there in the blogworld! LOL... I only hope to live up to their wacked out expectation! As i sit here blogging my little heart away i only hope that there is some gas in my car? ARRRRGH?!


I am so broke its not even funny. Lately i have not been handling my finances correctly so, as a result, i found myself smashing old cans in my backyard this morning to get some gas money. How pathetic is that? Well, i dont give a shit, i figured A bitch gotta do, what a bitch gotta do LOL... After all of that i take my aluminums to the recycle down the street and got $15.00 out of it all. WOW!
I have a gas in my car now... hahaha! Overall i am getting that overtime money blogging away LOL!

Way to start an intro...

Scale from 1 to 10?--- I give it a 5 and 10 for recycling effort! LOL

Posted by ::RL:: :: 5:58 PM :: 17 Comments:

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